Hurting one self

"Are u stupid??" "u must stop doing that foolish shit" is the normal way of approaching a person that decides to hurt them selves.... why?? dont they understand that they are not able to connect to the person that they want to help? u cant start by telling somebody that they are stupid. That will only make the person shy away from u. Let me tell u my story!

My name is Monica and i grew up with a mother that is a psychopath and that really mistreated us kids. My oldest sister AB and I was the two she hurt the most i think... with her hands. we grew up with one of our worst enemies in our own home. nowhere to hide from her. 

At the age of 10 i started to hurt my self. I was not suicidal so i only made wounds on my self so that i could feel the pain and bleed a lot. "why" u ask. Well the easy answer is that physical pain is easier to handle then the one inside. Sometimes we dont know why we hurt so bad that we do but just feel the need to transfer the pain to something we do understand.

based on my own experience in this field i have been so lucky that i actually have helped some frustrated youth to stop doing it. sometimes it helps to just tell them why the do it... i approach them with kind words on how i do understand them and agrees with them that i helps us cooping with our every day lives. but only short term. i tell them that their problems are probably something completely different. and i ask them about family life and school etc etc...

I guess im a little different from others here. i looove scars. i have a fetish i guess. but i dont like the history behind scars but i love them as a phenomenon. beautiful. and it tells a story about YOU and YOUR life. In spite of this i also feel the inner pain they goe through. And also YOU can help them by simply being their friend. not nagging about the scars. talk adult the real problem with them. they want to talk but not always do the know how and about what. so as the older person u should use your brain more so that u can help instead of making their days even harder to get through.

Like i told u I also do hurt my self and i loved the attention i got from it. I guess this is not something u just drop like a hot potato so i think im still like that. Only now it is through tattoos. That is not something i recommend for everybody but it has its advantages. when u have tattoos nobody ask u about why u hurt your self and they dont question your sanity. only your taste or bade taste depending on who is looking at the skin art. that way u can be more private about your problems. 

to this day when i have a rough day or week i do feel the need to make a wound on my self. What stops me is the fact that i can get a tattoo if i like whenever i like. and that if u make bad scarring ill end up ruining perfect skin for a nice tattoo! so i guess it is a good thing then. I know why i hurt my self and i know how to fool myself into a better solution. and that is important for all to find. tattoos is not for everyone. Every body needs to find their way of expressing it or just find someone to talk to. it can be easy to handle if u just know what to do....

dont judge the youth - look at them instead. make them feel that u see them! it is often a cry for help or attention... give them that. cost so little. means so much!